Mending the Beast Read online

  “Oh, Daniel.”

  “On me,” he repeated, needing to make sure she didn’t try to put any blame on his mate. “Ariel’s reaction wasn’t about me. It was about what happened to her. What she endured and survived. I should have been here for her. I should have stayed and showed her that I could be the man to help her move forward, even if all she could offer was friendship. But I ran. Out of fear. I won’t be that person again. She deserves better than that.”

  “Don’t lose track of what you deserve,” she urged. “You deserve love, Daniel. You’re an amazing man. Worthy of having a woman who will love you with all they have.”

  “Exactly,” Daniel agreed. “With all they have. That means I can’t force my expectations on her. I have to love and accept her as she is, give her what she needs, what she can handle. Because I’m lost without her, Laura. And I’m so tired of being lost.”

  She gave him a hard squeeze and stepped back, wiping her eyes as she did. “Then get going. Don’t leave Ariel wandering alone like I did with my mate. Go to her, Daniel, and don’t let her walk away. She needs you as much as you need her. No matter how much she thinks otherwise.”

  He scooped up his bag and moved toward the door, passing Finn on his way out and sharing a look of understanding. Just as Laura had become like a sister to Daniel, Finn and Murphy had taken immediately to Ariel and treated her like a kid sister. Daniel wondered if his mate had any idea of just how much she was loved and by so many.

  His lion rose within him as he stepped into the open air and headed out to meet Tony and the team he’d put together. He’d let the rest of them worry about whoever Ariel had found in need of help. His only priority was his mate. She was his. To protect. To love. It was past time they both woke up to what they could have. Together.

  Chapter Nine

  By the time Ariel had gotten back to the car, it was too late to head out. She was all about confronting her personal demons, but she wasn’t going in the twilight. Especially when her dreams of late had changed the setting on her. There wasn’t a lot she believed in anymore, but she still wouldn’t tempt whatever was out there by stumbling through that clearing in the dark.

  Instead, she’d headed back to the motel and a hot shower. She was debating food when there was a knock at her door. Her heart launched into her throat. Not here. She hopped from the bed, tugging at her shirt. It was his. God, why had she brought his shirt with her? Because his scent comforted her. No matter how much she tried to deny it. To ignore it.

  “I know you’re in there.”

  His voice was deep, resonating with the power of his animal, and it sent chill bumps over her skin. She wanted him almost as much as she feared him. Wasn’t that the clencher? To want and fear in the same breath.

  “Ariel, open the door.”

  She stopped pacing and stared at the worn wood that wouldn’t keep out Daniel if he wanted in. Then her heart settled as she reminded herself that for all his strength, he’d never do that to her. He’d stay outside, waiting patiently, until she made the first move.

  “Please.”

  It was the softly spoken plea that broke through her defenses and had her turning the lock and reaching for the knob. Her hand froze inches from it as fear rose again. This wasn’t a buddy or pal she could joke with while she pushed aside her emotions. This was Daniel. The man who could be her mate, who should be. The man who—

  “I’m coming inside, baby.”

  She took a stumbling step backward as tears filled her eyes. Baby? She’d never had anyone call her a term of endearment. Then he stepped inside, and the look on his face had the tears slipping down her cheeks. She tensed, ready to put her hands up if he walked toward her, but he simply flipped the lock back into place and leaned against the door, giving her the space and time she needed to collect herself.

  “I thought you were shot,” she whispered. “Vic said you were having trouble healing from it.”

  “I’m healed. Probably better than I was before.”

  He glanced up, and she immediately locked onto his eyes. She’d been trying to avoid them, looking anywhere but at them. She didn’t want him to see things she couldn’t hide. But now… They glowed with an eerie light that showed how close to the surface his animal was.

  “Are you okay? Should you be here?” Worry tinged her voice. Easier to worry for him than about what he might want from her.

  “I’m…” He paused and shook his head. “I won’t lie and say I’m fine. I’m not. But physically, I’m healed.”

  “Daniel.”

  He slid down the door and sat with his knees bent, hands dangling over them. “I thought we could talk.”

  Ariel blew out a hard breath, crossing her arms over her chest. God, she had no clue what to say. Hell, she was having trouble breathing. His scent saturated the air until it was all she smelled. She swore she could taste it on her tongue, feel it along her skin.

  “The first time I saw you, I thought my heart would beat out of my chest.” He leaned his head back, eyes closed as he spoke. “I knew. My lion knew. And in my eagerness to meet you, I said what might have destroyed my only chance at being with the woman the fates chose to be my other half.”

  “Daniel,” she began, but he continued speaking.

  “I know what they did to you.”

  She shook her head. She wasn’t going there, wasn’t discussing that with him.

  “I see it every time I close my eyes, and my hate for them only grows.”

  “They’re gone. All of them,” she said.

  “And as much as I’m glad they’re gone, I’m angry I’ve been robbed of spilling their blood, of avenging you. Their deaths should have been mine.”

  “No,” she bellowed, snapping out of the spell she’d fallen under at his arrival. “It should have been mine. Mine!”

  He pushed to his feet and faced her, though he kept his back pressed to the door and his arms loose at his sides.

  “Ours. It should have been ours. God, it rips me apart that no one was there for you. It guts me that I can’t be here for you now.”

  “I can’t… I don’t… I’m not who you need me to be.”

  She shook her head then caught her breath at the fire in his gaze.

  “That’s where you’re wrong. You don’t have to be anything for me other than who you are. You’re my mate.”

  “I can’t be your mate.” What echoed as a scream in her head came out as a whisper. “I’m too broken, Daniel.”

  “We’re all broken, Ariel. Even me.”

  “It’s not the same.”

  “I think my father hated me from the time I was born. He had his son, the one he planned to mold into the person he wanted Gabriel to be. He had no use for me. I think the only person he ever loved was my mother, and when we lost her…” He stopped, dropping his head forward and rolling it on his shoulders. “Gabriel and I weren’t always close as kids. We tried, but our dad always had things he needed Gabriel to train for, and I was in the way.”

  “The Angel.” Ariel knew who Daniel’s father had raised Gabriel to be. An avenging angel for shifters. He gave life to a legend. The stories of the things he’d done and the shifters he’d rescued had sparked hope in many. Gabriel hadn’t been the only one rescuing shifters. Others had stepped up, as well. All of them whispered they were The Angel. But she’d never heard Daniel’s story.

  “He made Gabriel believe he had no mate. That his life would be nothing but seeking vengeance for those who were hurt or for the families of those who were killed. Gabriel didn’t get to have a life of his own. He was meant to toe the line, do what he was told and go where he was told.”

  “And you?” Ariel asked.

  Daniel shrugged, and there was so much hurt conveyed in that slight movement of his shoulders.

  “Once he lost my mother, I was the disposable son. I didn’t matter. Eventually, I moved into town. Created a life away from him.”

  Ariel noted Daniel’s words. When his father lost his mother. H
e didn’t mention how he’d felt to lose the mother he’d obviously loved and at such a young age. It made Ariel wonder if anyone had been there for Daniel?

  “How old were you when you lost her?”

  “Four. Gabriel was seven. We stayed in the house for three days, waiting on our father to come home.”

  “By yourselves?” Ariel took a step toward him then stopped herself. She had no clue how to offer comfort to another person.

  “Gabriel called Adrian’s house. His father and uncles came over and kept watch over us until Dad got home. There was a letter…” He stopped, sighing heavily, before pacing back and forth. “They left it pinned to her body after…” He stopped, visibly swallowing several times before continuing. “My father read it, burned it, and never spoke of it again.”

  Ariel had never met Adrian, but she knew who he was. A coyote shifter who’d been friends with Daniel and Gabriel since they were young boys. She was glad Adrian and his family had been there for Daniel and Gabriel. For three days. Watching over the body of their mother while their father had been absent. She’d thought she couldn’t hate Isaac Erikson more than she already did. She’d been wrong.

  “He hit you. When he found out Gabriel had signed over the land to Tah and the pride. Your dad hit you, and you didn’t do anything.” That had always bothered her. Why would Daniel let his father hit him?

  “He’d been filled with hate since Mom’s death. It would have been so easy to meet that hate with hate, anger with anger.” He paused, turning to face her full on. And his eyes… God, they were magnificent. “But there was a time when he was more than anger and hate. Mom made him take us on a picnic once. Dad hated the idea and groused the whole time. But he went. Mom sent Gabriel and me off to play. My brother went to hide, and I was supposed to hide. Then I heard my father laugh. It shocked me. So I hid and watched them. The way he looked at her was as if she hung the moon. I’ve held onto that one memory my whole life. And I’ve always reminded myself of what he lost that day.”

  “What about you? He had a responsibility to his kids, Daniel.”

  He smiled, and she didn’t want to know what he was thinking because it felt as if he were thinking of her as a mother. She couldn’t go there.

  “I don’t want to be him.” He shuddered, and she found she’d taken another step closer to him before she stopped herself. “He hated. After he lost her, I think that’s all he did. He fired Gabriel and me up, and it would have been so easy to go down that road with him. To let it consume me. That’s not who I am. It’s not who I want to be. I lost that again for a bit, but not anymore. I’m done running. I can’t change the past, but I can build a future. With you.”

  She immediately started shaking her head.

  “Shh,” he crooned. “I’m not asking you for anything other than a chance. Right now, I’m just a man, standing in front of the woman he really likes, asking for a chance to start again.”

  “Start again?”

  He stepped forward then, holding out his hand to her. “Hi. I’m Daniel.”

  “What…” It clicked in her head what he was trying to do. To replace that original meeting with a different one. She took a deep breath and stared at his hand for a long moment before looking up to meet his eyes. “I’m Ariel.”

  “So what’s a woman like you doing in a seedy place like this?” He wiggled his brows, and she found herself laughing. He reached gingerly toward her face and slowly brushed some of her hair behind her ear. “I like your laugh, Ariel.”

  She sobered quickly, completely aware that he’d yet to move his hand. Though he touched only her hair, she felt it all the way to her toes. God help her, she wanted to lean into it.

  “Daniel, I can’t—”

  “I’d like to buy you dinner.” He spoke over her, and she knew he didn’t want her to say she couldn’t be who he needed. “Just dinner and conversation. Would that be so bad?”

  She shook her head and cursed the emotion that welled up inside her. She’d spent most of the last few years wrapped in hate and anger. To hear Daniel say he didn’t want to be that person, made her reevaluate the person she’d become.

  “I’ve never been on a date,” she admitted softly.

  He closed his eyes, seeming in pain.

  “Not even in high school?” he asked.

  “No.” Quick and firm. She’d been a nobody in high school, doing her best to hide in plain sight and draw no attention to herself.

  “Ariel.” He stopped, his mouth snapping shut so hard she worried he might lock his jaw or crack his teeth. His nostrils flared as he seemed to struggle with what he wanted to say. “Did you… Were you with… before?”

  She knew what he was asking, though he couldn’t get the words out. She shut her eyes and shook her head back and forth. No, she’d never had sex before what had happened.

  Daniel made a sound that had her snapping her eyes open and seeking him out. He sounded like a wounded animal, one in more pain than a body could bear. This time, she didn’t stop herself when her feet moved closer to him. She reached out to touch his chest and shuddered as she felt how tightly coiled he really was. Then his gaze snagged hers, and the neon light of his animal held her captive despite her reluctance.

  “Don’t,” he begged, reaching up to gently press her hand more firmly against him. This time, it was his eyes that closed. His turn to shudder. “Touch me. Just for a moment.”

  What was she doing to him? It wasn’t fair. She shouldn’t touch him, knowing it wouldn’t last. It couldn’t.

  A keening wail filled the air, and it devastated her to realize it came from her. Daniel’s eyes snapped open, and from one breath to the next, she was in his arms, high against his chest as he carried her to the bed, easing down on the edge and holding her in his lap. One hand cupped the back of her head, holding her in place where she rested her head against the curve of his neck. The other gently caressed up and down her spine, never drifting too low or high.

  “Go ahead, baby. Let it out.”

  She shuddered again, trying and failing to cut off the sobs building in her chest. No one had held her like this. No one had wrapped her in their arms and urged her to release her emotions. And she didn’t blame them. She’d been more like a rabid beast in the aftermath. More likely to bite the hand held out to her than to grab on and hold tight.

  Gideon had done his best to help her. He’d risked her snarling and scratching when she jolted awake from a nightmare. He’d offered the comfort he could at the time, but he hadn’t known how to deal with things any more than she had. His face had been one of compassion, and she’d been embarrassed to have him see her that way. Eventually, she’d stopped waking in panic mode, no longer attacking as she jerked from sleep.

  It had taken longer to control the screams until she woke crying Gideon’s name, instead. Then she’d trained herself to lock it all inside, to hide the nightmares that never left her, until no one knew she still had them.

  Daniel was different. His expression conveyed more than compassion. There was grief and horror and controlled rage. He seemed to mirror everything she felt, everything she’d locked inside—tried to lock away, anyway. He shuddered with her, cried with her, and when she clung to him in desperation, he wrapped her tighter against him, shedding his own tears in her hair while she soaked his shirt.

  He didn’t croon to her, didn’t fill her ears with useless words that offered nothing. He dove into the storm with her, holding tight so she knew she wasn’t alone. God! She wasn’t alone. For the first time in a long time, she didn’t feel alone.

  “I don’t want to hurt you,” she whispered between sobs. “Please, don’t let me hurt you.”

  “Shh, baby. Let me hold you for a little bit. Let me be your strength while you give yourself a moment to breathe. Trust me to watch over and protect you while you heal. Let me love you while you learn to love yourself again. Let me love you, Ariel, even if it’s only for a brief moment in time. Let me be the friend you’ve needed, the person
you can count on. For as long as you’ll allow. Let me stay.”

  Her hands fisted in his shirt, her forehead touching the warm skin of his neck. She was drained. Emotionally spent. She’d never allowed herself to cry the way she just had. She’d shed tears in anger. Hell, she’d done a lot of things in anger over the years. She’d worn the damn emotion like a suit of armor, protecting her from everyone and everything. She wasn’t sure she could prevent herself from doing it again down the road. But for now, she wanted Daniel to stay. Needed him and all he’d just offered. For as long as she could allow.

  Never uttering a word, she slowly nodded her head against him and felt his muscles relax at her agreement. This time, she kept her words inside where no one but her tiger could hear them.

  Please, don’t let me hurt him. Please.

  Chapter Ten

  Daniel held Ariel long after her body had softened and she’d dropped off into exhaustion. The emotional deluge she’d released had taken a huge toll on a woman who’d obviously not been sleeping well. She was pale with dark circles that seemed to highlight the delicate bone structure of her face. She’d lost weight, and his mate was tiny to begin with. How did he mend what she thought was too broken to ever put back together? How did they get a chance at the happiness they both deserved?

  He carefully removed his phone from his pocket when it started vibrating. One glance at the screen, and he knew it was Tony calling.

  “Hey,” he answered softly, doing his best not to wake Ariel. His mate definitely needed her sleep.

  “I take it you found her?”

  “She just went to sleep.” Daniel glanced down to where her fingers still gripped his shirt, though without the tight hold she’d had at first.

  “Mitch and Jonah flew back with Quinn. I gave Tah a heads up so they’re prepared for her. There’s a story there, but she’s not talking yet.”