Grizzly's Bear (The Holloways Book 5) Read online

  He reached for her again, and she stepped into him, understanding his need to touch her. She needed to feel him, too. In that moment, she knew she was done running. She couldn’t change the past, but she could embrace her future. A future that included the sexy man before her. The man she planned to mate and spend the rest of her life with.

  “Walk with me?” She wiggled her fingers at him as she stepped back.

  He took her hand and brought it to his lips, kissing her palm before twining his fingers with hers.

  “Where would you like to go?” he asked.

  “Somewhere we can talk. Alone.”

  She had a lot to tell him.

  Chapter Five

  Slade led the way into the woods around the Holloway property. He’d take them to the heart of Holloway land and keep his distance from the peripheral. The last time Rissa had been on the edge of his home, she’d been taken from him. He wasn’t ready to tempt fate again. He had a lot to make up to her. He’d promised her she’d be safe, that hunters would never dare step foot on his family’s land. The bastards had proved him a liar.

  “You came for me.”

  Her words snapped him out of his thoughts and had him glancing toward her.

  “Of course, I did.” He dropped her hand then turned, tugging at his hair before facing her again. “I tried to follow the truck they took you away in. I couldn’t get to you fast enough. I nearly lost my mind searching for you, hoping wherever they took you I’d reach you in time.”

  He swallowed hard, easily recalling how she’d appeared when he had found her. The blood and bruising and broken bones. The utter stillness of her lying there, tied down and splayed wide.

  “Slade.” Her hand brushed his chest as the rumble of his bear coasted up his throat. He’d almost lost her. He wasn’t taking that chance with her again.

  “Mate me,” he demanded, knowing how he sounded and damned if he cared.

  “Slade.”

  “Give me the words, Rissa. Stop denying what’s between us.”

  “There are things you don’t know,” she began, but all he heard were excuses.

  “It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters except we belong to each other. Mates. Do you know how much easier it would have been to find you if we’d been bonded mates? If Ariel hadn’t been taken with you, if you’d been the only one taken, I might not have found you. Not in time. It was Daniel who led us to you by following his link to his mate. A link we don’t have. Yet.”

  “I understand—”

  “You don’t. You can’t.” He paced away, growling as every emotion he’d endured rocked through him again. “Knowing you were gone. That I’d failed to protect you. That they’d dared to come onto Holloway land and take you. Christ, it was as if they ripped out my soul. One minute, you were laughing and giving me that sultry look full of promise. The next… you were gone. Ripped from your home, from what I want to be our home. I couldn’t reach you in time. I couldn’t find you, and I couldn’t breathe knowing you were gone and at the mercy of ruthless savages.”

  “Slade.”

  She moved toward him again, but he shook his head, backing away. His beast was too close to the surface, pressing so hard that Slade used every bit of his control to stay in his human skin.

  “I killed them.” He had no remorse for the lives he’d taken. Not for the men who’d taken Rissa and done their best to kill her. “I shredded and mauled them, leaving nothing but a trail of corpses in my wake, and still, I didn’t reach you in time.”

  “You did. I’m here because you saved me.”

  “I managed to carry you out of the hell you were in, but it was your bear who saved you. Not me. I failed.”

  “Stop,” Rissa commanded. “You didn’t fail me. It wasn’t your fault they took me.”

  “I promised you’d be safe as long as you stayed on Holloway land. You trusted me, and I failed you.”

  “For God’s sake, Slade. Hunters dared step onto your land, and you hunted them down and killed them. I’m sure that only reinforces the message to stay off Holloway land. And my bear wouldn’t have been able to help me heal if you hadn’t got me out of there. None of this is your fault. Hell, I’m not even sure it’s my fault. From what I’ve heard, they were coming here no matter what, with the clear intent of taking two women back with them. One of whom was my alpha. Do you think I wish they’d taken Em instead of me? Never! I’d gladly step in for her every time. Every. Single. Time.”

  “I won’t let anything happen to you again!” Slade yelled, leaning down toward her.

  Rissa met him, rising on her toes until they were nose to nose. “I’m not yours to protect!”

  “The hell you aren’t.”

  His hands were around her before the words had fully left his lips. He had her up against his chest, his mouth devouring hers as the need to show her she was his rocked through him. Her fingers clawed at his shoulders before sliding into his hair and trying to snatch him bald.

  It was fear and anger. He felt it, both hers and his, and met her in a violent explosion that had them ripping clothes as they removed them. Skin pressed against skin. She shoved hard against his chest, forcing his back against the rough bark of a tree as she climbed him, wrapping her legs around his waist before sinking onto his cock with a hard, downward thrust.

  “Fuck,” he growled, both hands gripping her ass as he helped her begin a fast rhythm.

  “Yes!”

  Her face was fierce, a mixture of pleasure and anger and something more. Some emotion he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Then he couldn’t think at all as she dropped her face against his neck and rubbed there. Marking him. Making him hers despite her earlier words to the contrary. She was his. To protect. To love. To keep. Forever.

  She found her pleasure quickly. She screamed as she orgasmed, her channel locking down on his cock while her juices slipped down his shaft to slick his balls. He turned then, taking her to the ground beneath him, tugging her tightly against him and pounding into her as the raging need to join her in release filled him. He wanted to soak her with his release, to fill her until she overflowed with his seed.

  Her face pressed back in his neck, marking him with her scent. He dropped to his elbows, wrapping his hands in her hair as he held her there, not wanting her to stop what she was doing, not wanting to stop what he was doing. He rutted on her, more animal than man. No matter how hard he tried to grasp for control, to pull back, he was incapable. Growls rumbled from his chest, and he struggled to contain his strength as claws sprouted from his fingertips. He fought and finally managed to force words from his clenched jaws.

  “Say the words.”

  Her head jerked back until she met his gaze. Her eyes were wide, pupils dilated.

  “I want you.”

  Those weren’t the words he wanted. He wasn’t scratching an itch. Not his or hers. He was intent on creating a bond, building a life, claiming forever with her and never letting go. He paused, cock buried deep while her sex rippled and squeezed around him.

  “You have me,” Slade vowed. “But not just for now. We’re not fucking then going our separate ways, Rissa. Not this time. Never again. This time, when my cock owns your tight, little pussy, that’s exactly what it’ll do. Own you. Mine. As in no more games. No more running. No more tiny tastes of heaven only to have you pretend I mean nothing the next day.”

  “I—”

  “Shh.” Slade placed a finger against her lips. “We both know it’s true, and we both want more. You need me? I need you. I need forever. You want my cock buried inside you? Say the words. Make the promise. And it’s all yours. Only yours.”

  “Slade.”

  His name was a low murmur. He saw it in her eyes. The need for more, and the fear that held her back. In that moment, he knew he could push her, but the decision had to be hers. He couldn’t force her hand, no matter how badly he wanted to. He rolled them again, holding her so she sprawled atop him, his back flat against the ground.

  “If al
l you want is to use me, then do it. Take what you need.” He’d keep coming back for more. He’d never stop coming back for more of her, no matter how it ripped him up inside.

  She pressed her palms against his chest, slowly pushing herself up. She’d slid up his shaft as they’d rolled and took her time taking him back in. She moaned, rising and lowering on him. Her hands ran over her body, gliding over her breasts before lifting her hair then letting it fall around her. She was glorious. Insatiable. Easily the most beautiful sight he’d ever encountered. The look in her eyes, though. It threatened to rip out his heart. He feared she’d do exactly as he’d suggested. Use him. He let his eyes close, not wanting her to glimpse how much it hurt him.

  “Slade.”

  He forced his eyes open and almost lost it when he saw the tears in hers. Before he could say anything, she stole his breath.

  “Will you protect me?”

  She was saying it. Actually fucking saying the vows that would bind them as mates.

  “Slade?”

  He cleared his throat. “Yes.” It was more of a growl, but she seemed to understand his agreement.

  “Will you care for me? Make sure all my needs are met?”

  “Yes.”

  “Will you allow me to stay at your side? Go where you go?”

  “Yes.” Always. He’d never let her out of his sight if it were possible. He sat up, gripping her hips and thrusting up into her. “You’ve asked, and I’ve agreed.” She sank onto him, taking every inch until they were groin to groin. “You’re mine.”

  “Yes.” She nodded in agreement. “And you’re mine, Slade Holloway.”

  He rolled them again, sinking deep then riding her hard and fast. It was done. They were mated. She belonged to him now, and he would do everything in his power to make sure she was never hurt again.

  “Slade.”

  His name was a low moan, and he knew she was close to another orgasm. One he was determined she’d reach. He moved one hand down between them, finding her swollen nub and brushing it with his thumb. He rubbed circles over it, his touch becoming firmer at her verbal cues of growing excitement. When she was close, when she was crying out with her need to come, he pinched the bud and tugged at it, reveling in the way she tightened like a vise around him before drenching him with her pleasure.

  He thrust through the hard contractions of her sex, gritting his teeth at the feel of her surrounding him, milking him until his seed exploded from his cockhead and filled her up. Still, he kept going. Fucking them through one orgasm and into another. He stayed between her thighs until she was lax beneath him, her body trembling with aftershocks from the pleasure they’d shared. Then he slowed, though he was incapable of completely stopping the thrusts of his hips against hers.

  “You’re mine, Rissa Holloway.”

  She blinked her big brown eyes up at him with surprise, and his breath caught until he saw the slow smile that overtook her face.

  “I’m yours, Slade Holloway,” she agreed. “And you’re mine.”

  “I’ve been yours,” he reminded her. “Since you stepped out of that truck with your brother and ran up to embrace Em.”

  “One look was all it took, huh?” she teased, but he nodded, dead serious.

  “One look and I knew you were the only woman who’d ever own me, heart and soul.”

  “Slade, I don’t… You…”

  Rissa seemed at a loss for words, but Slade wasn’t.

  “I’ll protect you with my life, mate. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”

  “Promise?”

  “I swear, Rissa.”

  She nodded. “Good. I want to go to Oklahoma. I want to see Ariel.” She paused, and Slade knew what she’d say even before the words left her mouth. “I want to help make sure Talbot isn’t rescued. He needs to pay for what he did. To me. To others. Plus, I want my memories back, and I’m willing to go to Oklahoma to get them if that’s what it takes.”

  Slade groaned as he lowered his forehead to rest against his mate’s. He’d take her to Oklahoma. He’d promised, and he wouldn’t break his word to her again. He could get one of his single brothers to go with him. One without a pregnant mate. Laramie would probably try to refuse to let them go, but once he saw reason, Slade figured his brother would see it was a good thing to have one of the Holloways there to help oversee Dr. Talbot’s interrogation. They probably should have sent someone earlier. Talbot had information they needed.

  “Slade?” Rissa questioned.

  “I’ll see what I can do to get my brother on board with the idea,” he promised, knowing it might take him more than one conversation to get through to Laramie.

  “They need our help even if they didn’t ask for it. Talbot is an enemy to all shifters, and we should all take part in making sure he stays where he is,” Rissa suggested.

  Slade nodded. His mate had a point. Now, all he had to do was convince his alpha brother that sending them would be a good idea.

  Chapter Six

  It had taken a full week to get Laramie to agree with them heading to Oklahoma. Rissa felt the final push was her talk with Em. She’d told the other woman she really wanted to see Ariel. That she needed to. Not a lie. They’d shared a traumatic experience together. They’d been separated once captured, but Rissa really hoped seeing the other woman might bring back what had occurred just before then. Recapturing that time might lead to regaining all her memories. Luckily, Slade had agreed with her, and surprisingly, Jensen had, too. He’d encouraged it and volunteered to go along to offer whatever assistance he could to the pride of cat shifters. Which was how Rissa was now traveling to Oklahoma with her mate, his brother, and hers.

  “Another thirty minutes and we should see the turn off Daniel said to watch for,” Jensen murmured. He’d taken over driving at their last stop. Slade was now reclined in the passenger seat, dozing, while Adam slept next to her in the back, leaving Rissa as the one to keep Jensen company.

  “Should we wake Slade and Adam?”

  “Not yet.” Jensen threw a glance at his brother. “Neither of them have really slept since we left.”

  “Neither have you,” Rissa pointed out. She hadn’t had their issues with sleeping. Especially when Slade had ridden in the back with her. She’d curled into his side and gone out quickly, waking with her head in his lap, lips resting precariously close to a growing bulge behind his zipper that she couldn’t do anything about.

  Jensen shrugged. “I’m a doctor. I’m used to going without sleep. Now, stop worrying.”

  She glanced up, meeting his gaze briefly in the rear-view mirror. He was one of those people who always seemed attuned to the people and things around him. In all honesty, Rissa was learning she really liked Slade’s older brother. Actually, she liked all of his brothers. Slade was the fifth brother. Laramie was the oldest and alpha of the Holloways. Then there was Koby, Jensen, and Declan. And after Slade was Brock then Matheus. She had no idea how their mother had managed a house with seven boys. The brothers were close though. Even when arguing, their bond was easy to see. She hoped any children she and Slade might have would share the same type of sibling relationship.

  “What was it like growing up with so many brothers?” she asked. She needed the distraction. Jensen was correct. Her worry had increased the closer they’d gotten to Riverton, Oklahoma. What if her memories didn’t return? What if this was a wasted trip?

  “Loud,” Jensen offered with a laugh.

  “We certainly never got bored,” Slade added as he put up his seat then stretched. Rissa almost licked her lips as she watched him. God, she needed to get him alone and touch his magnificent body again. So far, they hadn’t had the opportunity on the trip, and now that she’d accepted him as her mate, she didn’t feel the need to deny herself anymore. The gaze he sent her way made her think he had an idea of where her thoughts strayed.

  “Must have been nice,” Adam added as he sat up beside her. “All I had was a pesky baby sister.”

  “Ha!�
�� Rissa punched him playfully in the arm. “You spent most of your time with—” She cut herself off, eyes going wide as she stared at her brother’s face.

  “Who?” Jensen asked while Slade kept his gaze on her face.

  “Jack,” Adam answered. He rubbed her shoulder before giving it a squeeze. “He lived next door. We were always running here or there. Usually with Rissa not far behind. The three of us grew up together.”

  “Why didn’t he come with you to Wyoming?”

  “He died.” Rissa answered Slade’s question but couldn’t meet his gaze. Instead, she turned and stared out the window.

  “He was with our alpha when they were attacked. Jack was killed. I actually owe him my life.”

  “What?” Rissa snapped, turning around quickly.

  “We argued just before he left. I’d planned to go along but changed my mind at the last minute.”

  “I never knew that.” She hadn’t asked. Not once. She’d been too busy being grateful her brother hadn’t been with the others during the attack. Now, looking at him, seeing the pain in his eyes, she wondered if his final moments with his best friend had been spent arguing over her.

  “I can see what you’re thinking, but our argument had nothing to do with you. I swear,” Adam assured her. “Still, my disagreement with him saved my life. I could feel guilty for that and did for a little bit. Then I realized Jack wouldn’t want that. For either of us.”

  Rissa felt Slade’s gaze but kept hers glued to her brother. She knew she needed to talk to Slade about Jack. She’d planned to eventually. But things had moved fairly quickly since she and Slade had mated in the woods. Finally, she forced her gaze to his. Maybe, it would be easier to say with others around them.

  “Jack and I had an argument that day, too,” she admitted. “I’m the reason he went to meet the others. He was angry with me.”

  “No,” Adam countered. “He wasn’t angry with you. He was never angry with you.”

  “I take it Jack decided he wanted to be more than friends with you, Rissa.” Jensen cut right to the chase, but then she figured he’d be the type to rip off the band-aid fast instead of slowly peeling it away.