Grizzly's Bear (The Holloways Book 5) Read online

  “Of course. She walked outside with me last night. Then Matheus took her to the cabin she’s staying in with her mate, Daniel. Why? Did something happen to her too?”

  “She was taken with you,” Jensen told her.

  “I don’t understand,” she murmured, and Slade reached for her again. She didn’t pull away this time as he wrapped his arms around her, holding her against his chest. It killed him to feel her trembling.

  “You and Ariel were shot with darts, thrown into the bed of a truck, and taken,” Jensen answered with no emotion in his voice. Only someone who knew him as well as Slade did would understand the very lack of emotion on Jensen’s face, in his voice, proclaimed how angry he was.

  “I don’t remember that.” A tear spilled down her cheek, and Slade couldn’t hold back his growl. “Where’s Ariel? Is she okay?”

  “She’s back home in Oklahoma with her mate and the rest of her pride. She’s called to check on you a few times. She said you’d claimed her as your new best friend, and she wasn’t giving you up,” Slade answered.

  “I wish I could remember that.” Her voice was soft and shaky. She closed her eyes then wiped her hands over her cheeks, brushing the tears away. “Tell me the rest of it.”

  “We left as soon as we knew you were taken,” Slade continued. “By the time…” He paused as the growl bubbled up from his chest. Remembering how she’d looked when he’d found her had him ready to kill again.

  “By the time they’d found you, you’d been stripped naked, restrained to a table, and severely beaten,” Jensen finished for him.

  Rissa whimpered, and Slade gently tightened his hold on her.

  “I got you back here as quickly as I could,” Slade assured her before Jensen jumped in again.

  “Your injuries were extensive. It was touch and go for the first seventy-two hours. You’ve been in a coma since then while your animal genetics worked on healing you.”

  Rissa’s gaze bounced back and forth between them again. “Wait? Seventy-two hours? Coma? How long have I been out?”

  “A little over four weeks,” Jensen replied.

  “The longest four weeks of my life,” Slade swore.

  Chapter Two

  Rissa couldn’t believe she was exhausted. After being in a coma for a little over four weeks, sleep should be the last thing she needed. Jensen had assured her rest was exactly what she needed. Her body was still healing. She should spend the rest of the week in bed. Recuperating. Which explained her lying down but not where she was lying down. Slade’s bed.

  One minute, Adam had been talking about taking her back to the cabin while Em had argued Rissa needed to be closer to the main house and Jensen until they knew for sure she was out of the woods. Then Slade had growled, scooped her up in his arms, and carried her out. She’d tried to argue, but Slade had merely snarled at her and kept going, carrying her straight into the main lodge, downstairs to the family quarters, and put her to bed. His bed.

  Gone was the easy-going guy who’d let her tempt and tease as she’d waffled between wanting him and feeling unworthy of him. This Slade wasn’t taking no for an answer. He’d told her quite clearly she was in his bed, and he wasn’t letting her leave. Period. Then he’d stomped out, teeth clenched against the growls spilling from his lips. Had he bothered to inhale, he would have noted how turned on she was. Slade was sexy no matter what. But this dominant, force-to-be-reckoned-with Slade was so much more.

  She tugged his pillow against her chest, holding it to her as she sat up in bed. She’d wanted Slade since the first moment she’d seen him. But mating him? There was no doubt that was what he intended. There were things he didn’t know, though. Truths she’d have to share before she’d ever be able to make a choice like that.

  There was a knock on the door, and Emersyn Langston—Holloway now—poked her head in.

  “Feeling up to a visit?”

  “Yes, please,” Rissa agreed.

  Emersyn walked in, tugging the door shut behind her as she did. She crossed to the bed and gingerly sat beside Rissa.

  “How’re you feeling?”

  “Sore. Confused.” Rissa glanced around Slade’s room. “How did I get here?”

  Em had the audacity to grin. “Pretty sure we all saw Slade carrying you here and giving the order as he left that you were to stay here.”

  “He did what?” Rissa demanded, but Em merely laughed.

  “He’s a lot like his arrogant older brother,” Em mused, speaking of her mate, the alpha of the Holloways, Laramie Holloway. “But I don’t think you were speaking of being in Slade’s bed. It suits you by the way.”

  “Slade’s bed?” Rissa asked with a wry expression.

  Em laughed again. “I should have said he suits you. The two of you look good together.”

  “Don’t,” Rissa warned, but Em ignored her.

  “You have to quit blaming yourself for Jack’s death.”

  In one of her more social moments, Rissa had admitted how hard it had hit her and Adam when they’d lost Jack. Em had known Jack, too. As the alpha’s daughter, she’d known everyone in the pack.

  “I sent him there,” Rissa reminded her friend. She didn’t want to discuss this with Em. Em’s dad, their pack alpha, had been killed at the same time Jack had.

  “You didn’t know what was waiting for them. None of us did. Should I feel guilty for my dad being there? I could have asked him to do a hundred other things that day, but I didn’t. What about Amber?”

  “Your cousin’s death is my cousin’s fault. It kills me to know that. I never particularly cared for Natalie, but I wouldn’t have thought her capable of murder. Adam and I are completely ashamed.”

  “Why? You didn’t do anything. Natalie’s sins were her own, and she paid for them.”

  Yes, she had. Em had faced off with Natalie in the woods on Holloway land. Rissa had always known her friend was more than she seemed. Had sensed it even if she didn’t understand why. But when Natalie had threatened Em’s adopted daughter and tried to kidnap her, Em had dropped the façade of pretending to be human and shifted into a fully grown and incredibly pissed off Kodiak. It had been a sight to behold. And the heat and sexual tension between her and the Holloway alpha had settled over those collected and put them all under a spell. She’d taken one look at Slade and gone somewhere private with him then indulged in a night of unparalleled passion that had only left her wanting more. Nothing felt so right as when she was with Slade, with him buried deep inside her.

  “He wanted to mate me,” Rissa confessed.

  Em stared at her for a moment then slowly nodded. “That explains why you’re so hard on yourself over Jack. You can’t feel guilty for not wanting a man who wanted you.”

  “He came to me that day. I knew what he was going to ask. I knew, and I didn’t want to hear it. So I sent him to join the others. Teased him about trying to skip out on all the hard work or some such nonsense. I don’t remember the words exactly.”

  “What do you remember?” Em asked, and Rissa had to swallow twice before she could answer.

  “The look on his face. He knew what I was doing. I think he knew I was going to tell him no. He tried to play it off with a laugh and one of his smiles, but it didn’t reach his eyes. It cuts me to the core that I sent him off to die. That the last exchange we had was me rejecting him. I rejected him, and he died.” Rissa closed her eyes, seeing it all so clearly.

  “Enough.”

  Rissa opened her eyes and saw the sadness on Em’s face. God, she hadn’t meant to make Em sad.

  “We can’t go back and change any of it, and it’s pointless to keep trying. Even in our minds. Jack’s gone. He wasn’t the man you were meant to choose, and you can’t punish yourself or the man you do want as your mate out of a false sense of guilt. Besides, if Jack really cared about you, he’d never want you to deny your own happiness.”

  “You say that as if you believe Slade is my mate.” Rissa shook her head, but Em merely stared at her.

/>   “If he’s not, then why are you languishing in his bed?”

  “Because he put me here and told me in no uncertain terms to stay put,” Rissa groused.

  “As if that would keep you anywhere you didn’t want to be,” Em scoffed. “You forget just how long I’ve known you. Lie to yourself, but not me.”

  “I’m not ready to talk about Slade yet. Not yet,” Rissa repeated when Em seemed ready to say something else. “What I really want to know is what happened to me.”

  “Didn’t Slade and Jensen tell you?”

  “Not the particulars,” Rissa said. “I take it I was seriously injured, but I don’t remember any of it. I don’t even remember them taking me. How could I forget that happening? Or what they did to me while I was there?”

  Em swallowed. “You were in bad shape when they brought you back here. Adam nearly went out of his mind. Slade was almost pure animal. His rage was absolute. Laramie didn’t leave his side. I think my mate was afraid we’d lose Slade if we lost you. I think he was right.”

  “Slade and I aren’t that close,” Rissa tried to deny.

  “Reference my earlier comment on lies and who not to tell them to,” Em offered drily.

  “Slade found me?”

  Em nodded. “You and Ariel were both taken. According to Ariel, the real targets were me and Kenzie Erikson, mate of the liger the Holloways are friends with. Dr. Talbot did some experiments on her as a baby and wanted to get his hands on her again. Apparently, he tried a few years ago but wasn’t able to get her.”

  “Why would he want you?” Rissa asked.

  “The only female Kodiak bear in existence. I hear, in certain circles, there’s quite a handsome price on my head, but don’t let my mate catch you mentioning it. He takes it very seriously.”

  “You should, too,” Rissa warned.

  “I do. I promise you. I do. It helps to know that Dr. Talbot is now being held prisoner on a ranch in Oklahoma where he can’t hurt anyone else.” She paused and took a deep breath. “Of course, word is there’ve been several attempts to locate him and get him out.”

  “He probably isn’t someone hunters can afford to lose,” Rissa stated as she contemplated the stories she’d heard over the years. The man was known for his experiments.

  “Slade wanted to kill him. I think, if he would have come across him first, he would have. He was a man possessed when you were taken. His heart was on his sleeve for everyone to see.”

  “And you’re still not telling me what you know about my abduction. I want to know, Em. I need to know.”

  “Ariel said she was alone when she came awake. They’d stripped her naked and tied her down to a table. There was silence, then she heard you scream. She fought to get free. Then your scream ended. She said it just stopped. She was afraid they’d killed you. When Slade finally found you, you were covered in blood. You’d been stripped and tied down. They’d beaten you. You had cuts, bruises, the works.”

  “And?” Rissa prompted when Em stopped.

  “There was a metal club on the floor. They used it on you. Your leg was broken. The bone snapped in several places. You had broken ribs. One was nearly splintered. And… they hit you in the head with it.”

  “That explains the headache.” Rissa lifted her hand to touch the side of her head.

  “Your skull was fractured. Jensen wasn’t sure you’d pull through, but he didn’t admit that to anyone but Laramie. He told Slade you were in hibernation while your bear worked to heal you, but he wasn’t certain you’d ever wake up.”

  “And Slade?” Now, she wanted to know what Slade had done.

  “He never left your side. Even Adam couldn’t get him to leave, and you know how your brother can be.”

  “I do,” Rissa agreed.

  “He laid himself bare, standing guard at your bedside. Everyone knows what you mean to him. Bringing you here. He’s made his claim, Rissa. He won’t back down.”

  She nodded. She knew that, knew he wanted her. She’d be lying if she tried to say she didn’t want him, but it was more complicated than that. There was a ghost between them, as well as missing fragments of time she really wanted to get back. What had happened to her? Other than the beating she’d obviously taken. She needed to call Ariel. See what the other woman knew about their time in captivity. They’d obviously been kept apart if all she’d told them was she’d heard Rissa scream. Then the scream cut off. She gingerly moved her fingers over the side of her head.

  “Is your head still hurting?” Em asked immediately.

  “I’m fine.”

  “And Slade?” Em pressed.

  “I…” She paused, giving her head a slight shake as if that might clear it. “That’s between him and me.”

  Em stared for along moment, not saying anything. Rissa refused to fill the silence. Em might be her alpha, at least in her heart, but that didn’t mean Rissa needed to tell her everything going through her heart and mind at present. Especially when she was so twisted up and confused and… terrified. When she thought of being taken, her heart raced with terror. There was something there, pulling at her, but she couldn’t grasp it. All she felt was fear. It lodged in her heart, keeping her prisoner of something she didn’t know.

  Shit! She was moments from breaking down. She barely held back her tears, and the last thing she wanted to do was give vent in front of someone. Blinking furiously, she rubbed her head again.

  “I’m really tired,” she murmured, avoiding Em’s glance. Instead, Rissa let her lids drop closed. “I’m going to try and get some sleep.” She forced her lids open, silently praying she could hold the tears at bay. “We can talk later.”

  Em leaned in and hugged her. God, she wasn’t making it easy on Rissa. Her emotion welled up more, and she literally had to bite her lips to hold back the sob in her chest.

  “We’ll talk later,” Em agreed then stood and headed toward the door. “Let me know if you need anything.”

  Rissa nodded, somehow managing to hold herself together until the door closed and she was finally alone. Putting her fist to her mouth and tugging a pillow to her chest, she buried her face and let the tears flow. She was surrounded by Slade’s scent, wrapped so thoroughly in it that it was almost as if he was there. Then he was.

  “I’ve got you, baby,” he crooned, cuddling her close against his chest. “I’ve got you, and I’m never letting you go.”

  Chapter Three

  Her tearstained face broke his heart. She tried to keep her sobs silent, locking the sound in her chest, trying to lock in the pain as well. It ripped him apart. He hadn’t protected her. He’d made a promise, a solemn vow that she’d be safe, and instead, she’d been taken, beaten, and nearly killed. He’d failed her.

  He swore it would never happen again. He’d prove to her that he could protect and keep her safe. That he could be a good mate. Her perfect mate. And that’s what he planned to be. Her mate.

  She tucked her head under his chin, burying her face in his neck and rubbing her nose there. Marking him? God, he hoped so. He wanted her to mark him with her scent. Part of him wondered if she even realized what she was doing. Part of him didn’t care, which probably made him a huge dick. But didn’t that mean it was instinctual?

  He held her, hoping she took as much comfort in being in his arms as he felt having her there. He’d never imagined meeting a woman like Rissa, but now that he had, he couldn’t imagine his life without her. He didn’t want to imagine it without her. So he held her, crooning words he doubted she heard. Held her even after she fell asleep. He hadn’t been spouting platitudes when he’d sworn he’d never let her go. He was keeping her with him for the rest of their lives. He’d fight anyone who thought otherwise. Including her.

  Slowly, he moved them until they were lying on his bed. He followed temptation and stripped her naked, being careful not to wake her. Then he took care of his clothes before pulling her flush against him and settling the blankets over them. She nuzzled against him again, rubbing her nose along h
is chest and draping her leg over his thigh. He felt the heat of her against him, inhaled the sweet scent of her sex. His mouth watered. He wanted to bury his face between her thighs and feast on her for days. And he would. Soon.

  Her palm slipped down over his stomach, making his cock twitch no matter how hard he tried to control it. She didn’t need his erection. Not right now. But her fingers wiggled lower, brushing along his shaft as it rose to full staff. He gritted his teeth, cursing himself as he reached down to pull away her wandering hand.

  “Don’t stop me.”

  Her whisper had him glancing down at her face. Her cheeks were flushed with color. Her breath coming in tiny pants as she wrapped her hand around his length, fingertips not meeting around his girth. One touch and she had him ready to explode.

  “What do you want?” he asked her.

  “I need you, Slade. I need to feel something other than the panic beating inside me. I need you to help me until all I know is you and the pleasure I’ve only ever found in your arms..”

  He went to roll them over, but she stopped him, pressing her free hand against his chest and keeping it there until he was on his back with her rising over him. She held his shaft with a firm grip, running her palm up and down him while she straddled his hips. She bent down, brushing her lips over his briefly before kissing down his chest, following the thick line of hair down his stomach. She held his cock up and away as she nuzzled his groin, flicking her tongue out to taste him and drawing a harsh groan of need from his chest.

  “Rissa.”

  “I need you,” she repeated as if he might ask her to stop.

  No chance in hell of that happening. He needed her. Needed to remind himself she was alive. That no matter what she’d endured at the hands of hunters, she’d survived, and she was here. With him.

  “Take me,” he commanded, and gritted his teeth as she nuzzled her face along his groin, rubbing against him, spreading her scent. Here she went again. Marking him. Claiming him. He growled as she nipped his inner thigh before licking back up his shaft and swirling her wicked tongue over the crown. “Fuck!”