Unleashing the Beast Read online

  He knew Zane had helped to save his life, and he owed the man more than he could ever repay. He knew Reno and Amia had both forgiven him, and he was humbled by their generosity. Above all, he knew there wasn’t much he wouldn’t do for any member of their extended family.

  He focused back on the moment and found Murph throwing him a concerned glance and silence over the speakers.

  “What?” Finn said.

  “I asked how you are,” Tah replied. “Everything okay?”

  “I’m fine,” Finn snapped and regretted it almost instantly. Jesus! What was wrong with him?

  “Yeah, there’s a lot of fine going around. Ariel’s fine though she’s reverted back to avoiding most of us whenever possible. Logan’s fine when I can tell he’s anything but fine.”

  Ariel was a prickly little Tigress who’d arrived with Gideon and another shifter named Griffin. Griffin was most at home running lab tests and basically doing anything the Professor asked of him. The younger man had gone from dogging at Gideon’s heels to following the Professor around everywhere. They were an interesting pair.

  “Logan’s having no luck mending fences with his sister?” Murph asked.

  If Reno was Tah’s right hand, Logan was Reno’s. The three men were tight as brothers. Logan and Reno had bounced around after getting out of the Marines, searching for Logan’s baby sister. Logan had been nuts about finding her. Said he had a bad feeling. He’d sent letters to her while he’d been gone, but they’d all been returned to him. Then Reno had been shot outside a bar when he’d stepped in to prevent a woman from being attacked. He’d woken up in the hospital and told Logan they needed to find Tah. So Logan had set aside his search for his sister and followed Reno to find Tah. Funny how that one decision had led him to his sister in the long run.

  Finn had never met Logan’s sister, Laura, but he’d heard about her. He rolled his head on his shoulders then shrugged them up around his ears to release some stress.

  “…back now but hasn’t really spoken to Logan. I think having her so close and still so far away is hurting him more than when he didn’t know where she was.”

  Finn zoned back in to catch the tail end of what Tah was saying.

  “Give it time. Sounds like she has her own demons to slay,” Murph said.

  Finn swore a growl of displeasure rumbled in his chest, and he shifted in his seat again. Murphy threw him a startled look.

  “What was—”

  “We’re another couple hours out.” Murphy spoke over Tah. “I’ll check in with you as soon as we get there.”

  “Sounds good,” Tah said.

  “I’m fine,” Finn snapped, glaring at his brother. What the fuck? Did Murph really think Finn didn’t know what he wanted to see Tah about?

  Silence seemed to hang thick in the air again.

  “I think we’ll let Gideon decide that. Vic should be here any minute, too. I’ll let her know to have Gideon stick close. I want you to see him as soon as you get here, Finn,” Tah stated.

  Vic was another member of their motley Marine crew. She’d watched Finn’s back more than once, and he trusted her to do it again. She’d wound up mated to Gideon, a Jaguar who’d been passing through until he’d locked his teeth into Vic. Now, he stayed close to his mate. It turned out Gideon knew his way around a lab and medical research. He’d proved a huge asset to their group. He definitely had his hands full with some of the anomalies going on right now.

  “I don’t—”

  “That’s an order,” Tah commanded, his voice almost a roar. Then he continued in a calmer tone. “It’ll be good to have you both back. I’m going to miss Holt. We all are.”

  They would, but Holt was happy with his mate and the bear shifters. Finn was a little jealous of him at the moment.

  I would have loved you. He shook his head, not wanting to hear the phantom voice.

  “I’ll see you both soon,” Tah said and ended the call.

  Murph gave him another sharp look then returned his gaze to the road.

  “So Ariel’s pulled back into her shell?” Finn asked, ignoring the look and the tension filling the air.

  “Yeah, she doesn’t seem to have taken to Oklahoma any easier than you did. Now, tell me more about the dreams,” Murphy said.

  “What did you see that scared you?”

  “You were thrashing a bit. You grabbed your leg then put your hand on your stomach. You whispered something. I didn’t catch it. Next thing I knew, you’re screaming loud enough to shatter all the windows.”

  Finn knew Murph was lying. There was no way he hadn’t heard whatever Finn had whispered.

  “What did I scream?”

  Murph glanced in the rearview mirror then over to the side then back to the road in front of them.

  “Just fucking tell me what you heard,” Finn demanded.

  “You were calling for someone to come back to you, not to leave you. Who’d you meet while they had you, Finn?”

  He gave a grim smile and turned to peer out the window again. “No one that I can remember.”

  “That’s a lie, and we both know it.”

  “What did I whisper? And don’t give me the bullshit answer that you couldn’t make it out.”

  Murphy sighed. “Mine. You whispered the word mine. So I’m going to ask you again, brother. Who were you calling out to? Who left you?”

  Blonde curls and green eyes. The whispered vow floated through his mind. I would have loved you. Then she should have fucking stayed with him! He tried to stifle his anger, knowing Murphy was picking up on it. There were times he hated their connection and times he cherished it. It had saved his life after all.

  “Finn?” Murphy prompted.

  “I don’t know,” he bit out. “I wish to God I did, Murph. I really wish I did.”

  “We’ll figure it out,” Murphy promised.

  Finn nodded, but he lacked Murphy’s certainty.

  Chapter Two

  Laura knew she had to stop avoiding her brother, especially since Logan went out of his way to be in her path every day. He was pressing for a confrontation with her, but she wasn’t ready. Not yet. No one seemed to understand how hard it was for her. They all took Logan’s side, making a point of telling her how he’d searched for her. No less than three of his friends had informed her of the letters he’d written to her and how they’d all been returned. No one needed to educate her on how big a pair of selfish assholes her parents had been. They probably still were. She knew them better than any of Logan’s friends ever could, possibly even better than her brother did.

  It was as if everyone expected her to throw away a lifetime of hurt just because Logan was suddenly there. In a perfect world, maybe, but they all fucking knew there was nothing perfect about this world. She was glad he was here, glad he was healthy and happy. She easily picked up on his love for his mate. If anything, it made it even harder for her. As always, Logan seemed to be the golden boy. No one had a bad word to say about him. He was perfect, utterly perfect, while she was anything but. Her life was sheer hell, a fact she refused to share with anyone else. It was her burden to bear.

  She needed to see Gabriel or Daniel, if he was here. The brothers had saved her life. Gabriel had found her staked to the ground about to be raped. The memory clutched at her chest, and bile rose in her throat. She felt it as if it were yesterday. Stripped and spread wide, ropes burning her wrists and ankles as she fought to break her bindings. She’d been drugged though, with the perfect cocktail to keep her snow leopard deeply asleep while they did what they wanted to Laura.

  Two male shifters had been with her. Both drugged with some type of aphrodisiac that had made them lust for her. Though neither had been her mate, both would have fought to the death to take her. One of them had. Thankfully, Gabriel had stopped either of them from getting to her. Those who didn’t know him referred to him as The Angel, a savior of the people. She was one of the few who knew how true that was. He was her angel. He’d saved her, and it was a debt she coul
d never repay. Through him, she’d met Daniel and gained two brothers to replace the one she’d lost. At least, she’d almost convinced herself of that.

  “I’d like to speak with you.”

  Laura almost cringed at the angry, feminine tone. She should have expected Logan’s mate to be watching for her.

  “I’m in a hurry,” Laura lied.

  Clara waved it off. “I don’t care. You can damn well make time to speak to me.”

  Laura arched a brow and glared at the other woman.

  “I don’t want to be enemies,” Clara said with a hint of sadness in her voice. “I love him. Logan means everything to me. He stepped into my life when I needed someone most. He challenged me, fought me, fought for me. Most of all, he loved me. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for him.”

  “I’m happy for you two.”

  Clara growled. “I don’t know what the fuck your reasons are for keeping this distance from him. You know he wrote you. You know he searched for you. Yet, you still choose to punish him.”

  “I’m not punishing him,” Laura argued.

  “What would you call your behavior? Do you have any clue how much you’re tearing him apart?”

  Laura shook her head, opening her mouth to deny Clara’s claim, but Clara spoke over her.

  “You are. I want to be angry with you, but I can see you’re hurting too. Talk to him. From what I see, your parents fucked you both over. Don’t let them destroy the relationship you could have with Logan now. He needs you, and I get the feeling you might need him, too. If you do, he went for a walk out by the house Isaac lived in. He’s helping Gabriel sort through all the papers there.”

  Clara walked away before Laura could say anything, but the words her brother’s mate had spoken struck deep. Laura was behaving like a child. More specifically, like the child Logan had left behind when he’d joined the Marines. She wasn’t that girl any longer. She was a grown woman, one who far better understood what her parents were capable of.

  With leaden feet, she turned and made her way across the property in the direction of Isaac’s cabin. It would take her a while to reach it on foot, but the walk would do her good, help her clear her mind.

  It was weird to admit, but she missed Isaac. He’d been a shitty father to Gabriel and Daniel, but she’d always felt there was more to him. To hear Daniel speak, Isaac had been madly in love with his wife and had lost everything when he’d lost her. To know he’d loved someone so fiercely made her think there had to be more to him than the gruff, old bastard she’d met when she’d arrived in Oklahoma hot on Gabriel’s trail.

  She scented Logan before he stepped into the copse of trees and stood facing her. Just looking at him made her want to weep.

  He held out his hand, opened his mouth, closed it then dropped his arm and shook his head. “Don’t run. I’ll walk around. I didn’t know you were here.”

  “Liar,” she murmured, but there was no heat to her words. “Your animal may still be dormant, but I know you have the heightened senses. You knew I was here.”

  He sighed and ran the fingers of one hand through his hair, the same sandy-blonde shade as hers. “I just…” His voice trickled off, and he shook his head again. Without offering anything else, he turned to walk away.

  “Don’t,” she said and bit her bottom lip as he paused without turning back. “I’m not trying to hurt you. I’m not trying to punish you.”

  “Aren’t you?” he asked softly as he faced her once more. “Not that I’m blaming you. I know what happened to you. Gabriel told me when you refused to speak to me. I know what our parents did. Jesus! I’d give anything to go back and be there for you.”

  She shuddered, wrapping her arms around her waist and holding tight as memories fought to invade her mind. She couldn’t think of that, didn’t want to.

  “The way Gabriel found you…” Logan tilted his head back, and she saw his Adam’s apple bob in his throat as he swallowed convulsively. For a brief moment, she swore she saw tears glistening in his eyes.

  “He did find me,” she finally said. “He saved my life that day.”

  “And I wasn’t there.” Pain radiated from Logan’s gaze. She saw it, and God help her, she felt vindicated by it.

  “No, you weren’t. You left. I stayed.” She shrugged her shoulders, as if that said it all.

  “I wrote to you. I wanted to visit, to see you.”

  “So why didn’t you?” she challenged. “I was ten when you left. Why didn’t you come home to check on me even once? Especially when your letters were all returned?”

  “I didn’t want to deal with dad’s bullshit. I didn’t want to have mom try her guilt-trip tactics. I told myself you were okay. That they loved you. Mom always doted on you. I never… I didn’t…” He blew out a breath and finally met her eyes. “I always thought there would be time, only…time got away from me. Before I knew it, eight years had passed. As far as I knew, you were eighteen, graduating high school and going off to college.”

  “So you wrote me off?” she raged.

  “No! God, no! I just didn’t know what to say. Reenlistment came up, and I stayed there.”

  “With the new group who’d become your family. I found a new family, too. I’m not sure I want any part of my old one back.” She met his gaze head on. “Including you.”

  He nodded and turned his head away. “Gabriel’s still at the house,” he murmured so low she had to strain to hear it. There was a rasp in his voice. She’d hurt him. She could feel it but was unwilling to do anything about it. He’d as much as admitted he hadn’t taken the time to check on her. What was she supposed to say to that?

  “I’ll try to stay out of your way,” Logan said. “This is your home. It’s been your home for a long time. That doesn’t change because I’m here.”

  She nodded, avoiding his gaze. She kept her head down, her focus on the ground until she knew he was gone. Only then did she let out a shuddery breath and move on. Seeing Logan? It killed her. He’d been her hero growing up. Everything she wanted to be. Strong, brave, invincible. God, it felt as if her heart were being ripped in two. She loved him, but she wasn’t sure she’d ever forgive him for not being there when she needed him most. What a fucking mess this was!

  “Hey, there.”

  She glanced up as Gabriel called out a greeting. He took one look at her and lost the smile on his lips. He stepped closer and wiped away the tear she hadn’t even realized she’d cried. Then he tugged her against his chest and just held her while she sobbed silently.

  He’d reacted similarly when he’d first found her. He’d killed the man who’d tricked her into going with him then taken care of the others who’d been with that man. He’d given the two drugged shifter males a chance. The oldest had gladly taken it, continuing to fight the need for her tearing through him. The younger hadn’t been able to. She’d never forget the roar Gabriel had released when he had to snap that boy’s neck. She’d seen his rage and sorrow. He’d bound the remaining shifter, at the male’s request, then finally turned to free her. His voice had crooned, low and soothing, as he’d cut the ropes holding her down, exposing her to any who chose to look.

  He’d freed her then backed away as she’d curled into a ball to cry. Slowly, she’d felt the stroke of his hand over her arm, felt the shirt he’d removed from his own chest to drape over her nudity. She’d sat up, holding her arms aloft while he’d dressed her as if she were a child. He’d taken one look at her face and held his arms wide, offering the comfort she’d desperately needed. He’d tried to be gruff over the years, tried to intimidate and even push her away, but in that first moment, she’d seen who he really was. And she’d claimed him as hers. As family.

  “I can’t stand to see you hurting like this,” he whispered above her head. “Talk to me.”

  “I can’t do this,” she admitted. “I can’t be here with him. I want to talk to him, to put the past behind me. Then I look at him, and it all comes crashing back until I’m drowning in it. He was
n’t there.” She lifted her head and looked up at Gabriel. “I needed him, and he wasn’t there.”

  “Shh,” Gabriel crooned, pressing her cheek back to his chest. “I understand.”

  It was that simple with him. She didn’t have to go into great detail and explain why she felt as she did. Gabriel didn’t need that from her. He held her until she’d cried herself out then took off his shirt and offered it to her. She took it with a grin and laughed at his expression when she blew her nose on it. Finally, he led her to the porch, and they both sat on the steps.

  “You’ve been restless for a while now. I know something happened when you went out while I was gone. You won’t talk about it other than to say you met up with a hunting party and took them out. I know there’s more to it. I’ve seen it in your eyes, in the way you take risks you know you shouldn’t. Now, with Logan here… I’m even more worried about you.”

  “I’ll be okay.”

  “Funny, Logan said much the same when I asked how he was,” Gabriel told her.

  “I know he’s a great guy. Everyone’s made a point of letting me know that.”

  “He’s a selfish asshole who walked away from his family and never looked back,” Gabriel stated with a grunt.

  “He wrote letters. Mom or Dad must have returned them. I never knew.”

  “So he wrote a fucking letter. Big deal. Did he come visit? Come check on you? Hell, did he ever fucking call you?”

  “No, but he was out of the country. It’s not like he was just up the road or something,” she argued.

  “Good, I’m glad you realize that,” Gabriel said then put his hand on her knee to keep her from rising. “Forgive him or not. That choice is yours. But be aware of where he’s coming from. Did you read the letters? Did you ask him about the things your dad said to him? Did you ask him what he was going through?”