Jagged Hearts Read online

  “They’re gone,” she said, somehow finding it easier to bare herself to this stranger than she ever would have to the mother she loathed and the father she rarely saw. “I’ve lost everything.”

  He said nothing, just leaned closer, letting her bury her face in his T-shirt as she cried. Her body was blessedly numb from whatever they were giving her, but her heart was anything but. Why? The question surged through the pain. Why would someone want to kill her and Lance?

  “I don’t know,” Bare said, making her aware she’d whispered the question aloud. “But no one will ever hurt you like this again. I promise.”

  She let her eyes slide closed again without replying. It didn’t matter if anyone hurt her again. There was nothing left for them to take.

  Chapter One

  Five years later…

  Today, we’ll look back at the brutal attack that rocked the entertainment industry and left the world mourning the loss of heartthrob, Lance McIntire. He and his fiancée, fellow actress Paisley Ames were attacked in their home by an assailant who was never identified by investigators. It’s believed McIntire was attacked in the entryway when he answered the door. Though there were signs of a struggle, McIntire was hit with a fatal knife wound to the chest. Ames was not so lucky. The assailant forced his way into the couple’s bedroom and stabbed Ms. Ames multiple times in the abdomen. Though never officially confirmed, speculation lingers that Ms. Ames was pregnant at the time. In the immediate aftermath, she left Los Angeles and acting and has refused all requests for interviews.

  A picture flashed on the screen of Paisley on horseback, riding on her grandmother’s ranch. She wondered bitterly how they’d managed to obtain it, but instinctively, she knew.

  Joining us today is the mother of Paisley Ames, Vivian Ames, who has remained stoic in her quest to find the person responsible for destroying her daughter’s life. Vivian, welcome to the show.

  Thank you so much for having me.

  The television showed Vivian fixing her gaze on the picture of Paisley and tearing up right on cue, as if her world had been the one that ended that day.

  “Turn that shit off,” Barrett “Bare” Locke ordered as he walked into the room. “Now,” he added when the newest recruit to Knight’s Watch didn’t move fast enough for him.

  “What the hell!” The new guy, Seth, grumbled, standing and walking over to shut it off. He had a book in his hand. His place marked by a finger stuck in between the pages. Paisley blinked as she realized he was even taller than Bare.

  “I wasn’t even watching the fucking thing,” the guy said and threw a glance over his shoulder.

  Sterling and Jagger, the other two men in the room, did as well, and that was when they realized she’d walked in the room. The television had been turned pretty loud, so it wasn’t her fault they hadn’t heard her. Jagger muttered a swear word, and Sterling shook his head.

  “Holy shit,” Seth muttered, staring at her as if he was seeing a ghost. And wasn’t that appropriate? Didn’t she feel like a mere ghost of her former self?

  “Seth Gunnerson meet Paisley Ames,” Bare said.

  “Knight,” she corrected Bare with a glare before turning to the new guy. Paisley Ames had died five years ago. “Paisley Knight. Nice to meet you, Seth.”

  “Knight?” he asked.

  “As in Jamison’s daughter,” Bare said.

  “Sorry about that, Paisley,” Jagger said, standing and walking toward her.

  “It’s been all over the media for the last few days. Always is around this time,” Paisley replied. “Vivian makes sure of that.”

  “You okay?” he asked as he looked down at her. He reached out a finger to lift her chin, and she knew he saw the dark circles under her eyes, testament to her sleepless nights.

  “I’m fine,” she answered automatically. It took all she had to keep her hand from falling to her flat stomach that was barely marred by the attack, thanks to the skilled hands of the plastic surgeon her mother had brought into the operating room after the doctors had saved Paisley’s life.

  She felt anger filling the room. Her mother had no fans here. These guys were her father’s men, and they took anything done to Jamison personally. The fact Vivian had kept father and daughter separated through lies and deceit didn’t surprise Paisley, but it infuriated these guys.

  “Jagger, why don’t you take Seth with you today?” Bare suggested.

  Jagger grinned at her before turning to Seth. “I’ve got a team with a fresh install today,” he said. “Top of the line system. Guy’s a judge. He’s been getting some threats over a case he’s presiding over. I’ll walk you through all the checks we do before the crew puts everything in.”

  “Sounds good,” Seth said then turned back to her. “Nice to meet you, Ms. Knight. I apologize for the television.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” she said. “You don’t control what they air. And it’s nice to meet you. Welcome to Knight’s Watch.”

  He nodded, and there was something on his face that made her think he knew what it was like to lose someone close. Then he turned and walked out with Jagger. Sterling followed them, leaving her alone with Bare, something she would have liked to avoid. Especially today. He saw far too much she preferred to keep hidden. She could practically feel him trying to penetrate inside her head and find out what she was thinking.

  “What?” she finally asked a bit shrilly, which pissed her off. He was the only one who got to her. She liked the other guys. Enjoyed chatting with them. But Bare was different. He made her feel different. He made her feel things she’d thought had died five years ago when she’d lost Lance, when she’d lost her baby.

  “What are you doing here?” He barked out the question in his normal gruff tone, but concern was etched in the lines around his eyes.

  She sighed in resignation as she looked at him. She wasn’t sure what had made her think she could ever walk in this building without Bare knowing. He crossed massive arms over an even larger chest as he stared at her, one brow cocked over his deep-blue eyes.

  “I came to see my dad.”

  “He’s not in,” Bare said.

  “Oh.” She had no idea what else to say. Her dad was always here.

  “He flew out for a special assignment last night,” Bare finally said. “You usually hole up for this week, so we didn’t think about letting you know. Sorry.”

  He was right. That was exactly how she dealt with this every year. She locked herself inside the farmhouse she’d remodeled and pretended the rest of the world wasn’t reliving her worst nightmare in vivid detail. It had been her intention this year as well, but she was restless, had been for a while now, and couldn’t shake the feeling no matter what she tried. So she’d decided to come visit her dad.

  “What’s going on in that head of yours?” Bare asked. He reached out and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, and she jolted at the brush of his fingers against her skin. She always did. And it still made her feel guilty.

  She moved away, shrugging her shoulders. “Just needed a distraction, I guess,” she finally confessed. “What kind of special assignment is he on? Tell me he’s not doing anything dangerous.”

  She knew some of the special missions her dad took on. Bare went on quite a few of them himself. Usually, they involved high-risk kidnapping cases, mostly of the international variety where the government couldn’t get involved. Sometimes, they were rescue missions, but at times, they became body recovery ones instead.

  “No, this is different. He hasn’t taken an active role in those missions since you got here,” Bare reminded her. “He wouldn’t do anything to risk losing you.”

  Which reminded her there had been a time when her father had risked it all on a daily basis, both during his military career and when he’d first established Knight’s Watch. Now, he hired no less than thirty people at a time, all ex-military. He gave them a job and a home when they ventured into the civilian world. Most of them were fresh from war zones and had seen more than
their fair share of serious shit. Knight’s Watch made them part of a group who knew them and understood what’d they’d been through. And her dad was always available to talk to any of them, though usually, his right-hand man, Tucker, took the role of therapist. This was a place where they could stay and decompress, reacclimate and adjust. They could stay as long as they needed to.

  “Tuck go with him?” she asked.

  Bare ignored her question. “Tell me what you need, Paisley?”

  “You” hovered on the end of her tongue, and for the hundredth time, she asked herself if it would really be so bad to lose herself in the desire she knew he felt for her. Unfair? Yes. She got the feeling he wanted more than a one-time deal. He deserved more than a woman who’d never love again, one without the jagged scars of a past that would never set her free.

  “I don’t know,” she said with a shake of her head. “Felt like the walls were closing in. I needed to get out, get away for a bit.”

  “Let’s get out then,” he said. “My bike’s outside. We can go anywhere or nowhere. Your choice.”

  The thought of straddling his big black bike and wrapping herself around him sent a shiver through her. She wanted to say yes.

  “Come on. I know you want to,” he said with a grin.

  And she saw Lance. His brown eyes twinkling as he challenged her to run off to Vegas and marry him. God, what a fucked up place her head was. Fucked up and guilt riddled.

  “I can’t,” she said. “Let my dad know I stopped by.” She turned, heading toward the door, but his next words stopped her midstride.

  “He’s dead,” Bare said gruffly. “I doubt he would have expected your life to end with his.”

  “You don’t know anything about him,” she forced out between gritted teeth, clenching her hands into fists at her sides and keeping her back to him.

  “But I know you, better than you like to think,” Bare retorted. “I know there’s a real flesh-and-blood woman under that thick skin of yours. One with needs. One who didn’t die five years ago, no matter how much she wishes otherwise.”

  She whirled around, letting his words fire her blood and fuel her anger. “You see what you want to see and nothing more.”

  “If I saw only what I wanted, it would be you naked and in my bed, too exhausted even for memories.”

  “So I should just forget everything and jump in bed with you? Let you fuck me senseless?”

  “Hell, yes!” he practically yelled. “You need to be fucked. Often. I want to knock every thought out of your head so you have no choice but to feel for a change.” He walked over to her and jerked her against his broad chest. “Feel me. I’m right here, Paisley. Flesh and blood.”

  He was a foot taller than her, and his erection hit her belly, taunting her with what she shouldn’t want, what she didn’t want to crave.

  “I don’t want you,” she told him, and the cocky bastard just laughed, though there was little humor to the sound.

  “You want me, and it eats you up with guilt. I see it every time you look at me.” He had one hand clamped against the small of her back, holding her against him, while he used the other to cup her chin and tilt her face up to him. “Deny it. I dare you.”

  “I don’t want you,” she said again, and he struck like a cobra.

  She had just enough time to squeak like a damn mouse before his mouth was on hers. His tongue licked over her bottom lip then his teeth nipped. She knew what he wanted and refused to give in. If he kissed her, really kissed her, she’d be lost. And she couldn’t. It was too soon, and he was all wrong.

  He caressed along her jaw, up the curve of her face until he nuzzled her ear.

  “Give in,” he crooned. “Take what you want.”

  “Why are you doing this?” she begged. “Why now?”

  He’d kept his distance from the first. He’d been kind and gentle, but always, he’d remained aloof. Why the sudden change? Why was he pressed against her like the new skin she longed to jump into?

  “Because,” he whispered and kissed her so softly above her ear that she felt tears threaten.

  “Because why?” she demanded.

  Bare took a deep breath and let her go. He walked back across the room before pivoting to look at her again. “Because I’m tired of watching you punish yourself for surviving. You lived, Paisley.”

  She fought for control. Still, a tear escaped to slide down her cheek. “I lost everything that mattered to me that day. There’s nothing to celebrate.”

  “You lost a man you loved. You needed to mourn him and to mourn what could have been. You needed to get angry at what you both were cheated out of.”

  “I am mourning. I am angry,” she yelled.

  “Still,” he emphasized. “You’re still mourning. Still angry. When will you wake up and take a good look at what you have around you? You have a dad who loves you and spends most of his time terrified he’s lost you again, even when you’re standing right in front of him.”

  “He has me,” she argued and tried to ignore the part of her whispering Bare was right.

  “Does he? Because, from where I’m standing, all I see is a woman too wrapped up in self-pity to appreciate what she still has.”

  “Self-pity? You fucking bastard. You have no idea what I went through.”

  “I know what you went through. Thanks to your mother, the whole world does. You went through hell, but you’re still here.”

  “He’s not,” she yelled. “Do you get that? He’s not!”

  “No, he’s not,” Bare agreed quietly. “And at some point, you need to make peace with that or you need to stay the hell away from here.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “You heard me. Your dad won’t say anything to you, but I sure as hell will. Take a look at the men’s faces when you walk in this building. Do you think you’re the only one who’s ever lost someone? Do you think you have the market cornered on loss and pain? Climb out of your head and take a good hard look around you.”

  Paisley opened and closed her mouth several times but couldn’t summon the words to dispute what he said. Was he right? Did she act that way? The shame that filled her made her think there was a layer of truth to his words.

  “I hate you,” she uttered.

  “Good,” Bare replied, crossing his arms over his chest again. “I bet that’s the first time you’ve felt anything but grief in the last five years.”

  She swallowed and turned, walking out the door and leaving him and his accusations behind. Too bad they followed, tagging along as they repeated over and over in her head. Could she move on? Should she? Would she have expected Lance to mourn her for the rest of his life if he’d been the one to live? No, she knew she wouldn’t. She’d want him to be happy. How could she think he’d want anything less for her?

  She wrapped her arms around her waist as she slipped into her father’s empty office and walked over to the windows where the sun was bright. She hugged the shadows though there was no one to see her. Her mind might be waging a battle between guilt and desire, but her body had no such problems. Her heart beat fast beneath her swollen breasts. Her nipples pressed against the thin fabric of her T-shirt, and she was grateful Bare hadn’t pointed it out, though she was sure he’d noticed. She ached low in her belly and between her legs.

  Bare was right. She wanted him. God help her, she wanted him with a ferocity that invaded her dreams. She was grateful for the one thing he hadn’t pointed out to her. Though she’d denied him a kiss, she hadn’t been the one to push out of his arms and walk away. She hadn’t had the strength to deny herself that much. He’d been the one to release her, the one to walk across the room. She’d seen his frustration, the way his breath had made his chest rise and fall as he’d struggled to find control. And she’d seen the blatant bulge of his desire pressed against the denim of his jeans.

  God, help her, she wanted him, and she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to deny that fact much longer. She took a deep breath and blew it out slowly as she m
ade up her mind about what she really wanted and turned back toward the door. She hadn’t come in today to see her dad. It had been Bare, and he knew it. The question was if she was willing to admit it.

  Chapter Two

  Bare watched Paisley storm from the room and forced himself to stay where he was. He wanted to follow her, throw her over his shoulder and take her somewhere private. Did he want to fuck her? Hell, yeah, in every position conceivable. But more than that, he wanted to hold her, to let her purge the sorrow drowning her so that maybe, she could finally move forward and live again.

  “Think you were a little hard on her?” Tuck said, entering the room from the small door opposite of the one Paisley had exited through. Bare had sensed the other man’s presence, which was why he’d let Paisley go. They didn’t need an audience for what he had in mind.

  “Someone needs to be.”

  “Jamison won’t like it,” Tuck warned, and Bare didn’t bother saying not to tell him. Tuck would tell Jamison. It was a given.

  “Maybe, he needs to hear it, too,” Bare said instead. “He’s let this go on for far too long. If she were one of us, he’d hardball it and tell us to deal with the emotional baggage and move on.” He gave Tuck a hard stare. “You know I’m right.”

  “You are,” Tuck agreed. “But she’s different.”

  “No,” Bare challenged. “She’s not. She shouldn’t be.”

  “But she is,” Tuck stated matter-of-factly. “He’s waited his whole life to have her here. He won’t do or say anything that might send her running.”

  Bare sighed. Vivian Ames had done a number on both father and daughter. She’d divorced Jamison while he was overseas and not informed him she was pregnant. He hadn’t known about Paisley until he’d come home. By then, she’d been firmly under her mother’s thumb and beginning a career in modeling. Vivian had thought it best if Jamison didn’t have anything to do with Paisley. He’d flat refused, informing Vivian he’d take her to court for the right to see his daughter if she forced the issue.