Saving the Beast (Interracial Shifter Romance) (Awakening Pride, Book Four) by Lacey Thorn Read online

  Stunned silence descended over the room as they all stared at her. Diane sighed wearily and wiped tears off her cheeks she hadn’t realized she shed. She took a deep breath and did her best to regain control over her emotions. “I’m sorry. That outburst was uncalled for. You asked a simple question. I don’t know of any other options for Lydia right now. I’ll keep researching and looking. In the meantime, I’ll do all I can to keep her as comfortable as possible.”

  “Diane?” Abby held her hand out and made a move as if to walk toward Diane.

  Diane took a step back and held out her hands in front of her, stopping Abby before the other woman could cross to her. “I’m not feeling well. I should have excused myself earlier. I’m sure the Professor can handle any other questions you have. I’m going to head back to the lab.” She looked at Tah and almost cringed at the stark concern on his face. “I apologize. I’m fine. Really. I’ll see you all later.”

  She didn’t wait for anything else to be said. She turned and headed into the hall and back toward her lab and everything that was waiting for her. She wanted the peace, the quiet, but instead found Orsai, sitting as if he’d known she’d be coming down to join him.

  “You’ve been crying,” he stated softly.

  She wiped her cheeks again and crossed to the computer she kept her notes on, typing in her password to unlock it.

  “I’m fine,” she whispered, emotion still clogging her throat. “May I help you with something?”

  “There are many questions I have, but one stands out greater in importance than any other.”

  Diane glanced up when Orsai didn’t elaborate further.

  “Okay.” She should probably ask what the main question was, but God help her, she really didn’t need any more on her plate right now.

  “Are you my nephew’s mate, Dr. Renway?”

  “I…I… What?” She couldn’t engage her mouth to form coherent sentences, which was fine since her brain wasn’t coming up with any to say.

  Orsai just stared at her, as if he could peer deep inside her and find the answer there. If he did, she hoped he’d share them with her.

  “Call me Diane. Everyone does,” Diane finally said. “Zane avoided me for the most part. I’ve seen how mating works with Tah and Abby, Reno and Amia, and most recently Logan and Clara. Zane doesn’t have that type of…reaction around me.”

  “Ahhh,” Orsai said with a smile. “Is that what you think?”

  “It’s what I know,” Diane countered, getting angry and having no idea why. That wasn’t true. She knew exactly why it made her angry. Because, damn it, she wanted to be Zane’s mate. She wanted to have the type of relationship she was witnessing among the three, mated couples, and she wanted it with Zane.

  “All you know are the actions of two shifters who are only learning who and what they are. You know the passion of a shifter who found herself captured and pursued by a mate unwilling to let her hold back. You do not know the mindset of a confident shifter fully integrated with his animal spirit—one who has always known who and what he is.”

  “You think Clara didn’t have a choice? She doesn’t really come across as the easily tamed type,” Diane countered.

  Orsai grinned. “I’ve know little Clara since she was a child. I knew her father and her mother before they left this world. I consider her Uncle Thomas a dear friend. It brings joy to my heart to see Clara so in love and happy with her mate. It will bring me much more to see my nephew bonded with his mate.”

  Diane nodded, unsure of what to say. Really, there was nothing she could say. Zane’s mate was one more thing to add to her list of things she didn’t know.

  “A fully integrated male shifter is taught to protect, to accept the animal instinct that has him placing himself in front of others in times of immediate danger,” Orsai said.

  She flashed back to Reno shifting into a tiger and the way Zane had stepped in front of her. Had it just been instinct? Was she no more to him than anyone else was? Is that what Orsai was trying to tell her? She glanced at Orsai, who was watching her with that piercing gaze, making her feel as if he knew so much more than he spoke of. Could he tell how much she craved to be Zane’s mate? The thought had her cheeks flushing from embarrassment.

  “Do you understand exactly what it means to claim a mate?” Orsai questioned softly.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Have you really talked to Abby, Amia or Clara about the emotional aspect, the physical ties that exist and bind mates?”

  “I…” She shook her head. “I can see the bond they share. We all can.”

  “Ahh, but until you have felt such a bond, you can’t truly know. A male such as Zane understands that to claim you is to bind you to his side forever, in this life and any other. Your very thoughts become his, as his do yours. You will feel him inside, here.” He touched his heart. “Even when he is not beside you. You will crave him like nothing you’ve ever known, and once he tastes you, once his teeth mark the pale skin of your shoulder, there will be no going back for either of you. He knows exactly what it will cost you to become his mate. That is why he would choose to protect that woman further by protecting her from himself.” His eyes, so eerily similar to Zane’s, met hers. “Until he absolutely couldn’t.”

  Diane slowly let out the breath she hadn’t realize she’d been holding. “Do you think I’m Zane’s mate?”

  “I can only pray you are,” Orsai informed her. “Because without a mate to call him back, I’m afraid we’ll lose him forever to the animal inside.”

  “What does that mean?” she demanded.

  “It means Zane will be gone. Forever.” With those cryptic words, Orsai left Diane alone.

  She’d already realized Zane could be lost to them. It was all she could think about. Did that mean Orsai believed she was or just wished that she was but knew she wasn’t? Diane was ready to scream with frustration.

  “Zane.” She moaned his name out loud. “Where are you? Please be okay.” She blinked back tears then whispered softly the question that plagued her most. “Am I your mate?”

  * * * *

  The panther hissed then let out a loud growl. It was aggravated and getting angrier by the day. Fire burned in its veins—an unquenchable fire calling for him to explore farther away, to stalk and kill. But the man inside him was still fighting, using all his strength to keep his beast from straying farther. The man was focused on the image of a blonde woman, and the beast knew what his other half was trying to convey. But if the woman was truly their mate, then she should be there with them. He prowled the edge again, peering into the night, watching and waiting. Waiting for the arrival of the woman or the weakening of the man.

  Chapter Two

  Zane…gone forever…

  She absently sorted the empty vials on the counter. No matter how hard she tried to concentrate on other things, Orsai’s departing words echoed in her mind and stabbed at her heart. She had no idea if she was Zane’s mate, but she did know she didn’t want to imagine a world where he no longer existed. She hadn’t realized just how often she’d searched for him around the cabin until he was no longer there. And it hurt. The loss of him was like a physical pain, and it scared her.

  “Diane!”

  The Professor yelled, startling her. She jumped and knocked several vials over, barely catching them before they hit the floor.

  “What the hell is wrong with you? What’s going on inside that head of yours because you’re sure as hell not paying attention?” he continued.

  “Fuck!” she exploded, fisting her shaking hands at her sides as she turned and faced the Professor’s wide eyes. “Why the hell would you sneak up on me?”

  He shook his head and met her gaze with an expression that looked weary and tired. “I didn’t sneak. I practically stomped, I’m so angry. And I began chastising you as soon as I hit the door and saw you over here. You’re so wrapped up in whatever is going on in your head, you didn’t hear me.”

  “What were you
chastising me about?” she demanded.

  “You know exactly what I’m upset about. There are certain things we need to know. Tah may not like my…avenues of finding answers. Which is why we decided not to say anything until we have them.”

  “You decided,” she countered.

  “Diane,” he warned.

  She knew the stress he was under, could see the strain of it on his face, and her anger eased a bit. “There’s nothing to report until there’s something to report,” she uttered with a sigh.

  “That’s right. You need to get your head together.” He walked closer to her, and she could see concern for her reflected in his gaze. “What’s going on? You’re not yourself lately.”

  “I’m not sure I can do this anymore,” Diane whispered honestly. Doubt. There was so much doubt and uncertainty eating away inside her. “When you came to me with this mad idea of needing my help on a special project dealing with a unique breed of cats, I was intrigued. When you admitted exactly what it was, humans with cat spirits inside them, shape shifters… Well, I figured you were completely crazy.”

  “You came,” he reminded her.

  She nodded. “I did. I liked you and wanted to help if I could. I was also exhausted. The constant traveling, dealing with cats so near the brink of death from illegal hunting. It drained me. I was ready to walk away from it all when you came to me with your offer. A permanent place to call home. Working with a species in desperate need of saving.”

  “You have exactly what I promised you. This is home for all of us,” he assured her. “And this pride needs you more than anywhere you’ve ever been. I need you.”

  “I don’t know what I’m doing any more,” she wailed, tears sliding down her face. “I’m terrified. Soon, I’m going to need to deliver a baby, and I’d be lying if I said that doesn’t scare the living hell out of me. What if something goes wrong and Abby or the baby need care we can’t provide? I’m so afraid my ineptitude is going to get someone killed.” She was almost sobbing now. “Everyone wants me to take care of Abby. Hell, if it weren’t for the information Clara gave us, Abby and her baby might be gone, now.”

  “Where is the confident woman I first met? The one I had to have because there was no one else in her league.”

  “She learned what it means to really be afraid,” Diane answered.

  “Everyone has fear. You can’t let it control you or make you think you’re incapable. You are more than capable. I believed in you when I came to you, and my faith in you has only grown.”

  “I feel like I’m failing you. The tests on Finn, the anomalies Logan still has in his blood and a baby ready to make an appearance anytime now. You need someone better suited to handle all of this. A real doctor for God’s sake.”

  “You’ve more than proven your worth to this pride,” the Professor argued.

  “I’m not sure I am worthy anymore.”

  “What are you saying?” the Professor demanded.

  “I think you need to start searching for someone else. A doctor trained to deal with this.”

  “No!” the Professor yelled. “You are the right person, the only person I ever considered. I would have promised anything to get you here, and do you know why?”

  She gave a jerk of her head.

  “Because there’s no one smarter than you. No one more capable than you. You came in here with a confidence that put everyone at ease. Everything that’s happened, you’ve met with no hesitation, just a confidence that you would find the answers. You’ve seen the truth of what I told you, men and women who can take the form of animals.”

  “I have. They awe me. The last thing I want to do is hurt one of them,” Diane told him softly.

  The Professor looked at her with frustration. “Don’t say it, Diane. Don’t think it,” he ordered.

  She ignored him.

  “I think it’s time I leave. As soon as the baby’s born,” she whispered.

  “I need you. We all need you. I never once thought of you as a quitter.” He gave her a hard look and turned to head back to his office, slamming shut the door behind him.

  Diane dropped onto a stool and lowered her head into her hands.

  “You’re leaving?” Clara’s question startled Diane into looking up.

  “How much did you hear?” she asked.

  “That you plan on leaving after the baby’s born.”

  Diane nodded.

  Clara came closer and pulled out another stool. “The Professor is right. We do need you.”

  “I…” Diane trailed off and lowered her head. She was no longer certain they did. “Without your care, Abby might have died before I arrived and thought to give you the information about transfusions. And don’t think I haven’t heard what you did for my mate. You’re the one who took a bullet out of Logan and saved his life.” Clara shuddered and took a deep breath. “I’ll always be grateful for that. Without you, I would have never met him. I wouldn’t be complete and whole like I am now. I owe that to you.”

  “No, I—”

  “Yes.” Clara cut her off. “We all have moments of doubt. It’s the very human part of us. But I have no doubt in you. Even Tah counts on you. To me that says everything about your place within this pride.”

  “I’m not sure I have what it takes to do this anymore,” Diane admitted again. “I can’t concentrate. My focus, something I’ve always prided myself on, is completely gone. I’ve never lost control the way I did up there.” She laughed, then groaned and buried her head once more in her hands. “I’m so mortified,” she murmured into her palms.

  Clara laughed. “I think you made a very valid point. You certainly had everyone listening. The Professor chewed Tah’s ass when you left. According to the Professor, he’s been telling them you two need help down here for quite a while.”

  “Trust him to use my meltdown to get what he wants,” Diane said with a snort.

  “The Professor cares about you. I saw it on his face. And he’s worried. Whether he admits it or not, it’s there…in the way he looks at you.”

  Diane started to deny it but had to admit Clara was right. In his own way, the Professor did care. He wasn’t sleeping much and rarely ate unless Diane or one of the others reminded him. He was always running tests, reading data and working on some new idea he had. It was all taking its toll on him and leaving him snapping at those around him, which was usually her.

  “I think I might be able to help you,” Clara spoke into the silence, and Diane glanced up at her.

  “You know about medicine? Surgery? Lab tests?” She waved her hands around the lab. “You should have said so when you first arrived.”

  Clara gave a snort of laughter. “No, my Uncle Thomas could help with all this. Griffin, one of the shifters who worked with my uncle, could help with this. But not me. I might be able to help you with your concentration issues, though.”

  “If you can’t help with this, then I highly doubt it.”

  “I’m guessing you’ve been feeling restless lately. Not sleeping, not eating and not able to lose yourself in your work like you normally do.”

  Diane gaped at her. “How could you possibly know that?”

  Clara shrugged. “Just a guess, actually. I think we both know what’s causing the problem…or who.”

  Diane shook her head in denial.

  “Zane,” Clara said with a nod.

  Diane stood up and turned her back toward Clara. “I don’t know what you mean.”

  “I believe you,” Clara said, surprising Diane into spinning back around. “At least that you don’t know. You’re unsure. I’m not, and I need you to listen to me before we run out of time.”

  Diane felt a chill race up her spine as if in warning that her life was about to change.

  Clara met her gaze. “You’re his mate.”

  “I’m not. I can’t be.”

  “You are.”

  “I’ve seen how this bonding works. I saw the deep love between Tah and Abby when I first came here. He went nut
s when she wasn’t with him. He still does. He has to know where she is every moment of every day. It’s the same for Reno and Amia. Reno would move Heaven and Earth for his mate. They can’t be in the same vicinity of one another without touching. And you and Logan. I see the same thing with you. The way your eyes soften now at just the mention of your mate. Zane and I don’t have that, nothing even remotely like it. We’ve been thrown together several times, and he’s never once crossed the distance between us as if he couldn’t stop himself.” Didn’t she just have this discussion with Orsai? How could Clara be so certain of something Diane was so uncertain of?

  “He stood in front of you when Reno shifted down here,” Clara said. “Zane put himself in front of you to protect you.”

  “He would have done that for anyone,” Diane argued, remembering what Orsai had said about Zane’s need to protect.

  “Maybe,” Clara said with a shrug. “But there were others in the room. Tah went to Abby. I went to Logan. And Zane went to you.”

  “I…” Diane felt her heartbeat quicken in her chest. There had been others, and Zane had headed straight to her.

  “It means something,” Clara assured her. “Listen to me, Diane. Really listen to me because we are running out of time. Zane was born knowing who he is and what it means to be different, to be a shifter. But I don’t think you understand what it means, at least not to the same extent. I do because I’m just like Zane in this. I was born knowing who and what I am. We know the good and bad of what we are. We’ve witnessed the joy of mating and the devastation of those who lose a mate. We are hunted and killed simply because we exist. To knowingly bring another into this life… It’s not an easy choice for any of us to make, especially when that mate is human.”